I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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