hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
