Soap is not a condiment
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
