Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
