she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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