Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
