You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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