i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
