ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
