get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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