I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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