You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
