I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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