I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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