you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
