So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
