remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
