So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
