How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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