evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
