I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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