Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
