Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
