Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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