we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
