how can u be prego again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
