you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
