I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
