I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
no you cant smoke seaweed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
