had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
