Your dad touched me again.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
