i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
