So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
