Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
