Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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