Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
