You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
