We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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