I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
