She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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