So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
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apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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