I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
