You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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