Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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