doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
