True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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