On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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