evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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