did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
