i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
