direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
