Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
