Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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