My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
