theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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