The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
